Snowman from Hell

Title: Snowman
Date: Unknown
Medium: Cut-out from photocopied pattern, crayons, glue, & construction paper
Category: Art
Current Status: In your nightmares

What in the hell is this thing??!??!?! More importantly, what was I thinking when I made it?
Apparently, in some class in grade school, we made snowmen. It would appear that our teachers photocopied some snowman picture and then handed each student a copy and said, "Decorate, children!" I'm pretty sure that this horrific winter nightmare is NOT what they had in mind.
This is apparently a military snowman. Perhaps it is now a "consultant" with Blackwater. According to his hard to read name tag, he is called "SnowM." He is outfitted with a green army helmet, bazooka/flamethrower/machine gun weapon, belt with pistol and dagger, and.... uh... some carrots. Because when you're on a covert ops mission or just storming an occupied beach, never be without a bunch of freakin' carrots. Perhaps these are the snowman equivalent to "scalping" one's victim. Kill a snowman, take his nose.
I tried to hide the scarf as much as possible, I guess, by drowning it in purple. It's hard to be a badass in a knit scarf. I'm bewildered by the purple-red color for the body/uniform as I have no idea what sort of mission would require such a poor color scheme. Additionally, the snowflakes (I guess they're snowflakes) and wheel/button things look out of place even without my bizarre additions. The ones on his head look more like blood splatters anyway.
The worst part though is the face. That is an evil freaking face. It's like killer clown evil. He looks like he's going to enjoy ripping your intestines out.
No wonder my parents sent me to all those child psychologists.