Merry Christmas Printout

Title: Merry Christmas Printout
Date: December, year unknown
Category: Holiday Decorations
Current status: Recycled

Man, dot matrix printers. Gotta love em. This was most likely created using some horrifying Commodore 64 program. Or maybe an early Apple computer. I don't recall. I do know that is was done on some snazzy white paper that was part of a toilet paper like ream with thos annoying feeder hole strips on the side. So, once you printed out your glorious 24-pin low res black & white picture (at 1/2 ppm), you got to try and tear stuff off all four sides without ripping the main sheet.

At one time, this was some high technology and everybody was just astounded that we could make these graven images out of little black dots. Sure they were blocky and in black and white and looked like they were created with the use of a straight edge, but man, computer printed graphics. It revolutionized the way kids made crappy projects for school. No more crayon drawings or pictures cut from magazines. No sir! Now you could tell your 25 Mhz 386 to print a picture of something that looked vaguely like a decorated evergreen along with some text in a font that looks like it was created for a low budget cartoon. Awesome!

Dallas Zoo Map

Title: Map of the Dallas Zoo
Date: Before 1989
Category: Info
Current Status: Recycled

I don't have a whole lot to say about this one. To be honest, I don't even remember much about going. I know I was there, probably with my Dad, but I don't know if anybody else was with us.

This might have been just dad and me, in the summer of 1988 (before he got sick) during a week where Mom and Kristen were at Church Camp. If that's the case, then this was one of the things we did instead of our original plan, which was a roadtrip around Texas. I can't remember if work or money got in the way of that, but we ended up staying home. We did do some fun things... I think we went to the West End and played City Golf and ate ate The Croc n Rock restaurant. Dad let me watch the first Robocop movie (even though it was rated "R" and I was only 13). There was some other stuff, too, but I don't really remember any of it.

So, maybe we went to the zoo... who knows. Jenny the Elephant was most likely there when I went, since she arrived in 1986.

Hey kids! Feeding time for Reptiles is 2 pm every Tuesday! Watch the primates get fed at 3 pm every day!

Polar Bears Soccer Team Photo

Title: Polar Bears Soccer Club Team Picture
Date: mid-80's
Category: Pictures
Current status: Trying to get Applebee's to put it on their wall as decoration

When I was a kid, there were two levels of soccer... YMCA teams and "City" teams. I played for the Y for a year or so, but most of my friends played for city clubs. I wanted to play on a city team, but my parents wouldn't let me at first because they would play some games on Sunday mornings and my forced indoctrination into the Protestant sect of the Jesus Club was more vital (to my parents) than playing soccer.

Eventually, I don't remember how, the relented and I signed up to play on a club called The Polar Bears (later, just the Bears). In what has remained the standard for my soccer career, the team I joined was terrible. I mean, we sucked. We lost pretty much every game.

I'd like to know who the hell though "Polar Bears" would be a good name for a soccer team in Texas?

I remember a few of the other teams we played... there were the elite Panthers, the Celtics, and the StarBlazers. They always kicked our butts.

Ray Grabeel played on one of those other teams, but he swears he doesn't remember any team ever calling itself The Polar Bears and I think he thinks I made it up. Well, look at the picture... that's real. Would I Photoshop something as awful as that? Look at those socks! And the short shorts... no, nobody would willing fake a picture of themselves like this.

I played for 2 or 3 years before giving up on it. It probably didn't help that I was almost always a "Fullback". In kiddie soccer, the fullback (defender) position is tantamount to being an outfielder on a T-ball team... it's where the less talented players went. I got to play midfield once, and I remember it vividly because it was the only time I ever crossed the mid-field line. I remember thinking how weird everything looked that close to the other teams goal.

I actually wasn't a bad goalkeeper, the the coaches' kids pretty much always got to be goalkeeper. Damn nepotism.

Anyway, here are some bonus pictures. The back of the photo holder:and the business card of the guy who made his living taking pictures of crappy youth soccer teams.

Apparently, he also took pictures of pretty much anything that involved a paying client. You don't see "Banquets" mentioned very often anymore. And I doubt that many people who hold "Banquets" automatically think of a guy who calls himself "Captain Photo" as their first choice for official photography.

North Texas Irish Festival 1994

Title: Ticket stub from the 1994 North Texas Irish Festival
Date: March 5th, 1994
Category: Tocket Stub
Current status: Scrapbooked

The annual North Texas Irish Festival... since 1983, at the beginning of March, Dallas hold the NTIF to celebrate all things Irish. Last weekend was the 27th edition of the festival. I didn't go.

In 1994 though, I was still in the early stages of my love affair with Ireland. That love affair started around 1992, but I'm not certain when. I was infatuated with the place. Partly because Ireland just seemed so magical and different, and partly because I thought I had ancestors from there (I have yet to find a strong Irish line... Virtually every ancestor I've found was born on this continent before the Revolution and they all came from England and France. I'm still convinced I've got a strong Jewish line somewhere). I had all sorts of touristy Irish crap around. CDs of "traditional" music, flags, shamrocks, leprechauns... whatever nonsense I could find. I subscribed to an Irish-American weekly newspaper, I wore green (never mind the fact that at the time I was drifting between Protestant and Agnostic.... definitely not Catholic), I watched "Darby O'Gill and the Little People", followed the Republic of Ireland football team, and tried to eat corned beef.
So of course, when the Irish Festival rolled, I was really excited. Ray and I went out there. It was (and is) at Fair Park out in that wretched hellhole known as Dallas. I don't remember a lot of details about the visit... I remember wandering around, hearing a lot of music, looking at a lot of stuff for sale, consuming some not particularly authentic Irish food and drinks, and just generally being amused by the spectacle. I think that year I bought this hideous green vest. At the time, I thought it was pretty freakin cool. Now, I don't think it's cool nor can I fit in it. I've still got it somewhere I think. If I find it, I'll take a picture.
I know I went to more NTIFs than just this one. I believe I went to the '95 festival as a music reviewer for the TCU Daily Skiff. I must have been at at least one after 1996 because I know I've had a (terrible) plastic cup of Guinness.
I think my last attempt to go may have been in 2000. Ray and I went out there with the intention of going to the Irish Fest. We got out there mid morning or so, but then thought it would be fun to go to the Science Museum first. Then, I think we saw some limited engagement movie at the IMAX, perhaps Fantasia 2000. next up, The Irish Fest, right? Wrong! The Titanic exhibit was at Fair Park. Gotta see that.
By the time we got done fooling around at all the other things in Fair Park, it was getting dark and we were getting tired. We pretty much got up to the gate to go into the Festival, looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders, and went home.

I have since lost my love of Irish stuff. I'll be honest here... a big reason why is that for the 5 years I worked at the Bull & Bush, I'd say 85% of the true Irish that I met were jackasses. I'm not the only one that has this impression either. And before anybody jumps all over me for being a jerk, I freely admit that I possibly did not get a fair cross section of the full Irish population... just the ones that like to hang out in bars and drink. You can draw your own conclusions.

Birthday Card from Mom & Dad

Title: Homemade Birthday Card from my Parents
Date: Most likely May 27, 1988, my 13th birthday
Category: Birthday Card
Current Status: Scrapbook

I didn't usually get homemade birthday cards from my parents. They were typically store bought and often a little cheezy. I think my mom once gave me the same card three years in a row (the third time was on purpose).
I assume this "card" was in recognition of my achieving the age of 13, hence the goofy "you, teenager, you!" at the bottom. My parents, particularly my dad, seemed particularly fascinated by the aspect of their kids becoming teenagers. I'm not sure there was really that much difference between 12 and 13 really, but then, I don't have kids so I can't really be sure of just how exciting every little thing is.
Perhaps it was more of a milestone for my parents. The fact that I made it to the age of 13 before they actually decided to act on the near constant urge to strangle my sorry, trouble making butt. I can see how that would be exciting.
The bare bones greeting card was actually a way to show me what I would get for my birthday since they couldn't wrap it (or apparently, bring it home) :

Geez, Children's Palace... who even remembers Children's Palace? I remember I like Children's Palace better than Toys 'R Us, but I don't really know why. Figures I'd pick the loser in that horse race.
At any rate, dad borrowed a small pick-up truck belonging to the father of my buddy David Irvin and we went and picked up a 10-speed from the Children's Palace by the Parks mall on Cooper Street. It was blue with yellow trim. I think David got one shortly thereafter that was almost the same bike. Great. Bicycle twinkies.
I rode that bike all over for about 3 years, until I got my driver's license and then I didn't ride a bike again until about 4 years ago when I decided cycling would be a fun way to lose weight and/or spend a bunch of money.
I thought I still had this bike, but thinking about the garage at my mom's house (which I have spend a great deal of time working in the last few weeks), I can't picture it. There's my mom's ancient bike with the basket, dad's old bike from around the same time, dad's 10 speed from the '80s, kristen's pink huffy, and Kristen's scooter... but I can't remember seeing mine. I don't remember getting rid of it... huh. Weird.
I wanted a 10-speed to replace my previous bike, the infamous Huffy Sigma. I had gotten a Sigma for Christmas back in '86* I think, but then it was stolen over Spring Break in '88* when I stupidly left it outside of Rocky Stanzione's backyard fence... the one that faced Hawkins Cemetery Road. I was to lazy to pull it through the fence and so I left it on the ground, unchained, thinking nobody would steal it. Dumbass.

*all dates are guesses... I'm not really sure

Mysterious Page of Random Phrases

Title: Sheet of random phrases
Date: probably around 1997 or 1998
Category: Random
Current status: looking for the originator

I'm not entirely sure what this is or where it came from. I have some suspicions though, based on some names mentioned in this goofy thing.

I think Robyn Ross wrote this list of random things she either overheard or were said about her on a trip... maybe... not sure... but regardless of when or why, I'm pretty sure Robyn created this and shared it with me in an email.

There are some really amusing things on here... some of which should be used by you in everday conversations.

For example, if your boss asks you why you were late to work, just say "Megaphone rocks your lame ass", squint menacingly, and walk away.

If you are ever an undercover agent trying to blend into Chinatown, just authoritatively yell "Check for lizards in the rice cakes" at anyone who looks at you funny.

At any rate, I assigned each line to one of the voices in my head so that they can repeat it over and over again. It's better than having that damn 'Nanerpus song stuck in my head...

Sports Calendar Entry for Feb 20

Title: Sport Fact of the day for 2/20/1991
Date: I just told you that
Category: Calendar
Current Status: Recycled

Look! It's an appropriately dated entry! February 20th... okay so, it's not Wednesday and it's 18 years later, but hey... same date otherwise.

Here we learn that this is the birthday of Bobby Unser and Charles "What he do this time" Barkley. It's also Phil Esposito's birthday and on this very same day back in 1971, scored his 50th goal of that season. Way to go, Phil!

Let's see... when this date appeared on my calendar, I was in 10th grade... let me think if I can remember my classes:

Psychology with Mrs. Beazley
Algebra II with.... Mrs. Hailey?
P.E. with Coach Smith
Lunch with Reinhold, Joshwa, Skippy, Opie the Janitor, and Mr. McBride
English with Mrs. Maddox
Latin I with Mrs. Smith
Chemistry with Mr. Powell

I didn't have a job yet, I didn't have a driver's license yet, The Cowboys hadn't won a super bowl yet, and George Bush was still president.

man that seems so long ago.