Birthday Card from Mom & Dad

Title: Homemade Birthday Card from my Parents
Date: Most likely May 27, 1988, my 13th birthday
Category: Birthday Card
Current Status: Scrapbook

I didn't usually get homemade birthday cards from my parents. They were typically store bought and often a little cheezy. I think my mom once gave me the same card three years in a row (the third time was on purpose).
I assume this "card" was in recognition of my achieving the age of 13, hence the goofy "you, teenager, you!" at the bottom. My parents, particularly my dad, seemed particularly fascinated by the aspect of their kids becoming teenagers. I'm not sure there was really that much difference between 12 and 13 really, but then, I don't have kids so I can't really be sure of just how exciting every little thing is.
Perhaps it was more of a milestone for my parents. The fact that I made it to the age of 13 before they actually decided to act on the near constant urge to strangle my sorry, trouble making butt. I can see how that would be exciting.
The bare bones greeting card was actually a way to show me what I would get for my birthday since they couldn't wrap it (or apparently, bring it home) :

Geez, Children's Palace... who even remembers Children's Palace? I remember I like Children's Palace better than Toys 'R Us, but I don't really know why. Figures I'd pick the loser in that horse race.
At any rate, dad borrowed a small pick-up truck belonging to the father of my buddy David Irvin and we went and picked up a 10-speed from the Children's Palace by the Parks mall on Cooper Street. It was blue with yellow trim. I think David got one shortly thereafter that was almost the same bike. Great. Bicycle twinkies.
I rode that bike all over for about 3 years, until I got my driver's license and then I didn't ride a bike again until about 4 years ago when I decided cycling would be a fun way to lose weight and/or spend a bunch of money.
I thought I still had this bike, but thinking about the garage at my mom's house (which I have spend a great deal of time working in the last few weeks), I can't picture it. There's my mom's ancient bike with the basket, dad's old bike from around the same time, dad's 10 speed from the '80s, kristen's pink huffy, and Kristen's scooter... but I can't remember seeing mine. I don't remember getting rid of it... huh. Weird.
I wanted a 10-speed to replace my previous bike, the infamous Huffy Sigma. I had gotten a Sigma for Christmas back in '86* I think, but then it was stolen over Spring Break in '88* when I stupidly left it outside of Rocky Stanzione's backyard fence... the one that faced Hawkins Cemetery Road. I was to lazy to pull it through the fence and so I left it on the ground, unchained, thinking nobody would steal it. Dumbass.

*all dates are guesses... I'm not really sure

Music Award

Title: Music Award for Singing
Date: May 27, 1983
Category: Award
Current Status: Trophy Case

How cute... a "ribbon" with a copyright infringed image of Disney's Winnie the Pooh that celebrates singing and daily affirmations of self worth. Yes, by singing, it somehow makes me like myself. I didn't know it was that easy. I could have saved a lot of money on therapists if I'd known that singing in the shower could boost my ego.

I'm not sure where this award came from. I think we were already gone from Broadway Baptist Church by this point so I don't think it was there. We were probably at University Christian by that point where I had a year of youth choir lead by the illustrious Pummill family, the Von Trapps of Fort Worth. But, I don't think it was there either, because May 27th of 1983 was a Friday and we didn't do church on Fridays. Wednesdays and Sundays were church days... and two days of church was plenty. No, that leaves school as the only other option. The last day of school typically came around that time of May and awards day was the last day of school. So, this must be some goofy award from Little Elementary school, maybe even from the legendary Ms. Starnes!

It should also be noted that May 27, 1983 was my 8th birthday. That would have been 2nd grade and I do seem to remember the last day of school being on my birthday. It was like an extra birthday present!

Birthday Card (It's a Keith Kard!)

Title: Birthday Card
Medium: Wide-rule notebook paper, pencil, crayons
Artist: Keith Weiland
Date: May, 1988
Category: Greeting Card
Current Status: Waiting for Keith to become uber-famous so I can leak it to the media

For my 13th birthday, Keith Weiland saved himself $1.50 and made me this birthday card. I think he gave this to me along with the Beastie Boys' Licensed to Ill on cassette

At any rate, this is a fabulous card. On the front, in addition to calling me John-John, he has drawn three fruity characters, Mr. Lime, Mr. Cherry, and Mr. Grape. Whatever is the greeting inside?
"So Cherry up and have a Grape Lime!" Fortunately, he signed it so he can in no way deny having created this.
LOOK! It's the magical U-Turn arrow in the corner! That is the universal kid symbol for "Turn the sheet over, there's more!"
And on the back:"Hey you! It's a Keith Kard! ©1988 4202 Old Dominion Your Kuality Kard" and he signed it again.
Personally, I think Mr. Weiland had a goldmine waiting had he pursued his mutant ability to make awesome homemade birthday cards.

Okay Keith, enough for today. And I'm sure I've got plenty of other things to embarrass many other classmates.